Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

I am a perfectionist. Or rather, a recovering one, as the title states. Perhaps some of you can identify with the struggle:

• I’m afraid to do something new because I’m afraid of looking stupid, or doing something wrong. 
• I’m afraid to walk down a path that I know may lead to something good, but because I don’t exactly know what is at the end of the path (or how I’ll get there), I’m scared to take it, and maybe I never do.
• If I can’t be the best in a certain field, situation, or path, I worry about trying it, or avoid it altogether.
• I’m afraid of what people think of me…a lot. With how I look physically and how I dress. With how my actions and speech may come across. With how and where I spend my time and energies, or don’t.
• I’m afraid of wasting time, energy, or money because every tiny millisecond and tenth of a cent count, right?
• I’m afraid of failure and making mistakes. In anything. Ever. And I’m not necessarily talking about sin here (though right guilt and wrong guilt would be a great topic for a blog post one day), but just the things in life we put our hands to that we don’t always get right the first time…or ever.

Even now I’m thinking, “How do I word that just right so I don’t make it sound like I’m a horribly worried and insecure person, or offend anyone who struggles with this as well?” But, in the spirit of recovery, I’m gonna bypass these worries, and get straight to the point. :)

Perfectionism tends to be an inherently female thing, from what I’ve gathered in my (short) twenty years of living, and society only seems to encourage it. Magazines, how-to books, TV infomercials, YouTube tutorials, and more are constantly telling us how we can look better, thinner, younger, how to make a good impression, how to win a date, how to save time cooking, cleaning, at work, and on and on and on.

They basically tell us that we CAN be as perfect and beautiful as the women on the front of the magazines…the women who are completely dolled up and photoshopped to look like no real-life woman ever could.

Not a big deal? Think again.

Gals (and guys who struggle with this as well) - perfectionism is a sin. Our society may approve and encourage it. Everything in us may tell us that we’re justified in our worry and striving to be the best we can be. But it’s just an incredibly sneaky and deceptive strategy of our Great Enemy - who "prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Pe 5:8). The Devil.

I’ve been studying in Romans 7 recently - the passage where Paul talks about not doing what he wants to do, and what he doesn’t want to do, that he does. But the opposite extreme is just as much of a struggle - trying to control EVERYTHING I do! Because when I am trying to tough it out, and I want to look good, and I want to do everything right…I’m taking my eyes off Christ and looking to myself for strength, power, and the ability to control my life and future.

It’s just a mirage, ladies and gentlemen. I possess NONE of these abilities, and never will! And when
Satan tricks me into thinking that I do, then I become weak, and a perfect target for a hungry lion’s lunch.

So how do I (and you) battle this sin? What’s our countermove?

TRUST

Yeah, yeah, you’ve heard it before. But what does this trust thing actually look like?

Proverbs 3:5-6 lays it out really well:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.”

So what am I trusting Him with? My HEART, my HEAD, and my HANDS (or actions).

HEART - Believe that, even when I feel afraid of messing up, or am afraid of feeling like a failure, or looking stupid - He still has a plan for everything, and IT’S OK TO MESS UP, be a “failure”, or look stupid. My identity is in Christ, not in how other people see me, and He loves me the same!

HEAD - Believe that, when I’m afraid of wasting time, energy, or money, and I may lose some of those things in pursuing something I feel He wants me to be about - that the time, money, and energy I possess are all His anyway! They’re not mine to hoard or squander. AND, He uses every circumstance to teach me or grow me (or someone else), so it really isn’t being wasted at all! (I mean, unless you’re spending all day, every day playing video games…but that’s a different topic)

HANDS - Believe that I should work diligently on what God has already placed in my life to do, as if every moment, every action is done to serve and glorify Him, and not myself! That I should acknowledge Him in my thoughts and before others. And acknowledge that I AM NOT GOD - I cannot be perfect, and will never be in this life! But I know, love, and serve the One who is perfect, and He is the One guiding my steps and making my paths straight!

He will never leave me or forsake me. And though I will make mistakes and disappoint other people (and myself), He uses it ALL for my ultimate good.

~~~

In Christ,
Ellie